Last updated September 9th, 2020
It’s natural to lash out or blame people around you when you are upset. It can only start as a onetime thing until you get used to it, and it becomes a habit.
The majority of the people develop this behavior when young, of which later on some refrain from it while others just can’t.
Blaming people for things they didn’t do is something that most kids do, especially kids between 2- 5 years. How to deal with kids who blame is a question every parent asks themselves every time they start pointing fingers.
I know it must be a hard question, particularly for parents who grew with spanking as a mode of punishment. Trust me, hitting your child won’t work; instead, it just makes him/her more hostile.
Research indicates that parents who were used to corporal punishments when young they also see it as an appropriate way to punish their kids, which is wrong. You don’t want to raise your children in a manner that can affect them in the future.
So, what else should you do if you can’t spank your child? In this article, we are going to discuss deeply on how to deal with kids who blame and the reasons why they do it.
What to do when your child blames
In most scenarios, kids never accept their mistakes when in the wrong, they always try to pin them to someone else. They still consider themselves victims even regardless of their aggressiveness. If you don’t take any action as a parent, they will never take any responsibilities until it becomes too late to change.
If you see your child showing a pattern of recurrently giving excuses all the time he/she has behaved inappropriately, it is crucial you come up with several ideas to make them accountable.
Here are numerous approaches you can use to help them stop blaming others or the universe.
1. Use more actions than words
If you are a parent who just uses words when your kid behaves immorally, chances of them taking you seriously when you ask them to change is minimal. As young as you think they are, children can read a pattern, understand it, and even know what to expect.
If they continuously notice that whenever they misbehave, you simply use words and don’t give them a clear view of what you expect, they will never change. It would be best if you always emphasized what you teach them.
Be a good example. Kids can learn by seeing what you are doing and try to follow suit. For instance, if your kid has a habit of not spreading his/her bed after waking up.
It’s inappropriate to ask them to cover their bed when you haven’t tried to teach how to do the task, and worse if you don’t spread your bed. Who do you expect them to learn from, of course, it’s you.
Nurturing a behavior needs time, so if you want your kids to embrace a certain trait, walk with them throughout the journey while reinforcing what you expect of them.
3. Understand kids’ feelings while accounting for their behavior
Even on a mistake, it is important to recognize that they are still kids and need listening.
Sometimes maybe your kids’ outbursts because he/she has no clue how to express themselves. It is essential to listen to their side of the story and understand why they acted in that manner before taking action.
You can achieve this by easing the air around them by doing things like touching them, maintaining eye contact, utilizing a relaxed language, and asking them why acted that way.
Try to make them come up with ideas they think they can make them better.
For example, if you have a child who doesn’t like to brush teeth, you can ask them why him/she dislikes brushing teeth, explain to them how it was hard for you too during your younger age and what you did to get out of that situation. You can lie, but don’t tell them it’s a lie. Simply, you need to make them feel adored and safe.
3. Help your kid to get in control of themselves
Kids aren’t so good at controlling their feelings. Some of the kids lash out because they want something at the wrong time. When you deny them, they get mad or even act out because they don’t understand why they can’t have what they want.
Take, for example, your kid wants to play video games, but it’s time for him to be doing his school assignment. As a parent, you know why it is necessary to do the homework before playing; therefore, you need to help him understand why it is important that order of doing things.
You don’t go ahead yelling or scolding them before reasoning with them; this way, they can control themselves.
4. Utilize natural mode of punishments
Physical punishments like spanking may not be necessary every time you discipline a child.
One simple way of dealing with kids who blame is by letting them see and understand how the consequences of their deeds affect them.
5. Create a relaxing environment.
Handling disciplinary cases with your kids, and they feel that you don’t mind their feelings, concentrating on what you have to say can be a hassle. Even on the wrong, kids usually need to feel important.
Before disciplining them, create a soothing environment for them to explain exactly how they feel and why they misbehaved.
Avoid attacking language. Look for a better way to answer their responses like, “I understand, however not brushing teeth is not right…
6. Discourage blame-shifting in your home
Kids raised in families with members who don’t like to be accountable every time they make mistakes also behave like them.
Families need to emphasize finding solutions every time one of them misbehaves rather than looking for an individual to blame.
By so doing, it will be easy to raise your kids with zero blame-shifting traits, thus enabling them to be responsible and accountable for all of their deeds.
Understanding how to handle kids who blame can be stressful, especially if you don’t know the right approaches to use.
However, with the above methods, handling blame-shifting scenarios with your child should easy and fast. I hope you got a few takeaways to help your little kiddo, please post below if you have any questions or comments.